“Hi, I am Kanika(changed name), 20 years old from Delhi. I was doing internship for 6 months in an office. There was another guy, named Rahul(changed name) and we were employed on the same project along with two other girls. We four became so close friends that almost like a family. Initially I was being formal with Rahul, but he was the one who started the texting sprint and we were talking entire day even after work on Whatsapp. He told me about his previous relationship he had. But during these ending weeks, some how I started having feelings for him, and I proposed him! And he said he was just being friendly. I am broken up inside. Can you tell me what to do now? Block him? I can’t be friends now. Please help!”
Hey Kanika, It’s extremely courageous of you to share your feelings with all of here. Proposing to a guy, requires a next level of emotion, guts which you should be proud of as you didn’t hold back and took the charge of your feelings! So, be proud of yourself. As people call it ‘rejection’, this word, no matter how you describe would just shatter your own confidence. And also its not about thinking ‘his loss or stuffs’.
Kanika, what happens is that it is said that every person that comes in your life is there for a reason. The timings and reasons are all planned by HIM. Relationships in general are extremely hard and people do break up even after a week, month and some after 25 years of togetherness too! AT this age, taking a broad picture of life is extremely tough, but you have to widen your horizon.
So, here are some of the things you need to focus on:
- Surround yourself with people who guide you through, than people like “oh! he was ugly” or” he would repent” or”try move on”. As being with wrong people would make it worse. So, ensure to find just one person on whom you can depend on.
- Limit the use of whatsapp! What happens is as you start getting addicted to talking on whatsapp day and night. So, limit the usage, changing DP, and status updation and just take time off, slowly from the digital world and focus on mental health.
- Focus on you! Workout, chill with friends(as during this time you have already limited the contact with your friends )so reconnect with them again.
- Make yourself busy! Get into a hobby class or dance class. Start reading lots of happy minded books and stuffs! Even go shopping re-invent yourself. Also make sure, that everything has to do with self-love than “making him jealous”.
- Now, the question of should you block him. Answer is NO! Never ever block a person as its going to make you feel more and more guilty. And can you remain friends with him, even though you have feelings? Answer is YES! Lets dig deep and re-structure the situation for you.You started having feelings for your friend, and you told him about it, and he acknowledged! That was the entire point! If you make ABC person as the best friend he/she still might choose PQR as his best buddy. So, love has to be from a place of self-lessness! And that’s why it love and not obsession!
- Don’t date anybody for minimum 6 months. No rebound, nothing! Singlehood is awesome! And Find happiness in being Single, because if you can’t then life could take a troll on you! The more time spent on yourself, the better you would be able to tackle life.
-All the best. Keep Loving. Because, the one who would love you like anything is waiting for you!
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